Lessons Learned

I think I prepared for parenthood as well as I possibly could, but I get caught off guard almost daily by things that I never really understood before. Here's 10 of them.

1. How much babies get sick. Since September or so David has been sick ALL OF THE TIME. I've lost count of how many colds and coughs he's had so far. Apparently this is normal once they start spending time around other kids which for David is his 2 days a week at the babysitter's plus at the gym daycare. Some other mom's have assured me that since he's building up his immunity now it won't be as bad when he starts preschool which I really hope is true.
2. Stay-at-home moms don't have any more time to do housework than working ones. I'm not really sure where I fit in the whole working vs stay-at-home mom spectrum. Seeing as I only work 2 days a week I get a little taste of both. It has shocked me to learn that it's much easier to keep the house clean on days that I work even though I spend less time cleaning. Why? Because no one is there to mess it up while I'm at work.
3. The worst part of being a working mom is arranging childcare. Pre-David I naively assumed that the hardest part about working and having a kid would be not having enough time to manage things at home. Yet as I stated earlier, this is not the case. Interviewing and hiring a babysitter is a pain. Finding someone willing to do part-time or off-hours is really a pain. Having your babysitter quit is also a pain. And having to line up 3 sitters in less than a year is a big, fat pain.
4. Lining up a sitter is only the beginning of the pain of childcare. If your child is even mildly sick you cannot expose the other children so you must stay home. If the babysitter or her child is sick you still have to stay home. However if you are sick you must still go to work because you have used up all your sick time on other people.
5. It is quarter to 5:00. You should have finished with your last patient at 4:00 but she needs much more than you thought and you are the only one there to help. If you leave you abandon a patient in need but your babysitter needs to be somewhere at 5:30. Your husband could leave work a little early but he's still an hour away. Can you see why childcare really is the WORST part of being a working parent?
6. Pre-pregnancy weight and pre-pregnancy size are 2 very different topics. I've lost all my pregnancy weight plus another 5 lbs but I still can't wear my skinny jeans from before and no amount of sit-ups can control that extra tummy flab.
7. Mom cliques would put junior high students to shame. I spent a good part of last summer taking David to the park being shunned by the other moms that gather there. David was too young. I was too old (around here the average first-time mom is several years younger than me). Sorry, our playgroup's getting too big... And don't even get me started on the (not so) great mommy wars surrounding every parenting decision from organic foods to carseat types.
   
8. Parenting books make problems like sleep issues and discipline sound very simple and straightforward. They are wrong. Very, VERY wrong.
9. Without even asking for it I have accumulated enough advice to last me for a lifetime, well-balanced advice too. Every time I get told I do too much of one thing someone else chimes in that I don't do it near enough. I don't think I've ever gotten advice that hasn't been contradicted by someone else. It's also wonderful how even complete strangers are willing to help me out in this regard.
10. Sleeping through the night is a process that takes YEARS. Obviously I had some idea that newborns are not famous for giving parents lots of shut eye. Yet I was under the distinct impression that after those first rough months of nighttime feedings that babies then learn to sleep through the night and problem solved. Well technically that is true. But then a week later something throws off your schedule and you start over. And over. And over. And over. Sickness, vacations, missed naps, sleeping in the car, bad dreams, not getting to bed on time, growth spurts and about a billion other things can set you back for several days to a week.